Knock a Giant Lop-Sided

I saw Mos Def at Sasquatch this past June and was a little let down. Why? because of two things: My extremely high expectations due to what I had heard about his stellar live performance and the fact that his new record The Ecstatic had been released yet. Now The Ecstatic is a fantastic record, but it takes a few listens to sink in. It doesn't follow the mainstream verse/chorus/verse/breakdown/chorus formula that I have become accustomed to and though it is all the better for it, it takes time to marinate in the mind of the listener to achieve it's full aural potential. If you subtract a pre-concert listening period, add 35 degree weather, coming off a buzz and Mos peaking on his buzz you get a slightly less mind-blowing performance, but none of that is gonna happen when he hits The Vogue Theatre in Vancouver Aug 27. (Well maybe not none of it.) Rolling Stone has stated that Mos Def live has what they call the 'best delivery in music'....not just rap, music. I can't attend the show but if you can, spin The Ecstatic for a week and show the Brooklyn MC some love.

DJ Honda (Feat. Mos Def)- Magnetic Arts

Baby These Heels

"It's crazy how you could go from bein job blow,

to everyone on your dick, no homo.

I bought my whole family whips, no volvos

next time I'm in church please no photos.

Police exports, everybody passports,

this the life that everybody asked for.

This a fast life, we are on a crash course,

watcha think I rap for, to push a fuckin Rav-4?

But I know that if I stay stunt team,

all these girls only gonna want one thing,

I could spend my whole life good will hunting,

but the only good that'll come is the good when I'm coming.

She gotta ass that a swallow up a g-string,

and up top uh, two bee stings.

And I'm bee stinged off the reisling,

and my nigga just made it off the precinct.

We give a damn about the drama that you do bring,

I'm just trying to change the color on your mood ring,

Reebok? baby you need to try some new things,

have you ever had shoes without the shoestrings?

Whats that Ye? baby these heels,

Is that a May What? baby these reels.

You trippin when you ain't sippin, have a refill

You feelin like you runnin huh? Now you know how we feel."

Say what you want about the song as a whole but this is verse is absolute gold.

Jay-Z feat. Rihanna and Kanye West- Run This Town

10,000

I didn't get any pictures of the show last night, my apologies. To be honest the best pictures wouldn't have been of A-Trak or his fantastic light show but of every single known cliche in Victoria collectively gettin the fuck down. Plaid flanel button-down: Jivin. Exco Hoodie, hat, and sweatpants....crypt walkin'. Girl in Neon: lettin her hair down. Girl with RayBan's- Givin me a partial. It was hard to choose between keepin your face locked on the stage or dancing that same face off. Robot Rock brought about the same size cheer as Ain't Nothin but a G-Thang and both were shreaded by the hands of A-Trak over the audience before being baked by the kalediscope of sexual heat that shone sporadically from behind the man.

I don't think there is any live act that could bring a town like ours together better.

I can admit that I got stuck watching. Not that I didn't wanna dance but I had a feeling I wouldn't get to see this caliber of a performance in the near future. All other DJ's were put to shame, not cause he wanted to rub it in but cause he wanted the club to go that hard. And did I mention?..Ed Hardy/Christian Audigier were workin the lean back. Wifebeater was gettin jiggy. Guy in the concert t-shirt....losin his fuckin shit.

"Wats good Victoria?"

You are, ya sly motherfucker.

Hi

I first heard this song two weeks ago on a Fader Podcast featuring A-Trak and he claimed it was the first time anyone had played the mastered version. I think he was in Columbus. The song is now worldwide first via Kid Sister's myspace and now a delicious leak. I contemplated wearing a homemade 'Right Hand Hi' shirt to tonight's A-Trak show but I'll show my love for it by simply raising my favorite hand if it gets played. Get down with your hand hi.

Kid Sister- Right Hand Hi

Paint-In

Here are some pictures of my recent trip down Moss Street this past saturday during the annual Paint-In.

And after all the art you pop out of the alley and see this....

I'm Not Sorry

I made it down to The Bayanihian Community Centre in between Rooney and the Minglers and Cobras Cobras Cobras respective sets. It was actually my debut in the venue that I cannot pronounce and it was both homey and cosy. It also sounded decent to this Bayanihan virgin. I had listened to one or two of CCC's songs prior to the event and really had an open mind and no expectations. They were a very enthusiastic power trio that had a Blood Brothers flavor, and more than a few manic breakdowns. Where they strived in writing they lacked in execution, the drums seemed to float in and out of time with the keys and axe but they entertained none the less. I really dig the Goldeneye audio at the end of their romp-rock Commandon't. The drummer also looked a little batty but so do I when I play, here is a poor example:

and..

Hermetic were the band that I attended the event to see and they, quite simply, make fantastic music. There are merely two of them, similar to their cross-town musical counterparts Japandroids and though they do it different they do it equally well. The melodic vocals ride the wave of danceable, post punk guitar chords that bounce and crash upon the tightly locked grasp of the technically sound drums. Picture singing a Haiku to your girlfriend through your bedroom window while Ted Leo is playing in the next room and your neighbor is practicing drums to his favorite Bloc Party song.

At one point Eric, the baritone guitar wielding front-man, donned a harmonica while navigating the chords of 'Malingering 'only to toss it over his shoulder after the second verse. There is a certain juxtaposition about the way the instrumentals meet the vocals with Hermetic. It's as if Eric wants to violently vent into the microphone but is forced to merely harmonize beautifully with the structure of the band's songs. The guitar work is mesmerizing in itself but it is underwhelmed by the delicate, pleading vocals that sing you into bliss.

The drummer, Bart, also sings and to demonstrate this let's listen to my two favorite songs ever by two man bands. These will knock your socks off, one by one.

Hermetic- Preventative Arrest

Japandroids- Wet hair

This Week (..Well not quite) In Victoria:

Lets take a look at how I will be attempting to spend my next week and change on this beautiful land mass that shares a name with the city that isn't on it.

First of all we have the second best golf tournament of the year being televised on The Sports Network, TSN for short. What time is it on you ask? 3:30 am pt. I can vaguely remember about a month ago my roommates and I agreeing that, at 2:45 am we should rent the 24 hour Shaw on Demand Adult film and not the standard length 120 minute hollywood edit version. Needless to say I woke up at around 8 am to the sound of a penis head being forced into an unwilling female pharynx, while sharing a couch with three half naked males and a six pack of oscar-meyers floating in a pot of water. Hot Dogs are the shit when they are conveniently waiting for you upon your exit of whatever establishment you find yourself coming out of late into the evening. There is no denying this. Hot dogs are not the shit when you boil them in your kitchen for your unsuspecting friends who have just ordered 24 hour porn on the 51" TV.

If you ever wanna make your dick bigger, just apply for a gig in a low budget adult film and get your buddy to order it on his 51" Toshiba, instant enlargement. And then grab a hot dog.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that where porn falls short at 3 in the morning, golf does not: keeping me awake. It probably has something to do with the gentlemenly British commentators who love discussing such engaging topics as the density of salt in the mist or the affect knickers have on the golf swing. If you love golf like I do, grab a six pack, go to bed at 9pm, set the alarm for 2:30am and go to that buddies house who you can talk shit to for hours with the TV locked on TSN. If you have any energy left check out these happenings:

Moss Street Paint In@Moss Street (Between Fort and Dallas)-Saturday July 18th

Take it from a man who has really no idea what this is about but was lured in by the ice cream cone on the poster, looks like a real cool time. A bunch of acclaimed artists and some that simply managed to fudge the application correctly will get the chance to paint to their hearts desire from 12:00-4:00 in front of me and many other opinionated Victorian's. I'm sure you'll hear a few more "Holy shit" s than "I could paint that shit" s from my section.

Bedouin Soundclash@Element-Sunday July 19th

I know nothing here, but I guarantee a feel good time.

A-Trak@Element-Tuesday July 21st

A man who is making a strong push for the best unibrow in music is coming to our little town on the rock. A pioneer of the today's live DJ sound, A-Trak blends genres like a musical Magic Bullet, and I will be there enthusiastically soaking it up like a human ShamWow!. And O ya he's also Kanye's DJ.

Frog Eyes, Chet@Logan's Saturday July 25th

"It boggles my mind how they are not a colossaly famous band." -Brian King of Japandroids on Chet.

Tow songs to go with todays' useless bi-weekly guidance. Both sing-alongs, both for you.

The Rural Alberta Advantage-Drain the Blood

The Thermals- Now We Can See

22

Is it better to give a fantastic birthday present or to receive one?

I recently gave a birthday present that involved some strategic and borderline strange planning, and though I hardly slept for a day and a half preparing the deployment of the gift I felt thoroughly satisfied in the end.

Some things I learned along the way of giving one of the better presents I have ever given:

1. If you wear a blazer over top of a hoodie and carry bedding you are automatically assumed homeless by bus drivers....er, actually pretty much every one who sees you.

2. Don't pay for flowers, stealing them from random yards in your city is more fun. And it's the thought that counts. If you buy flowers.... leave the price tag on.

3. Sleeping in a city park is illegal.. who knew?

4. Waking up to the sound of a grunting 4 point buck is very unnerving. I have hit deer with my car in the past and I think I narrowly escaped their revenge on me in the quest to deliver my gift. I now give deer far more respect than the prancing caribou fairies I once thought of them.

5. Always plan for the worst response to a gift. I planned for a restraining order.

6. Listen to YACHT- Psychic City while preparing the gift and Delorean- Seasun after the gift has been given.

Time to start planning your next gift, or if your like me your next giftquest. Let me know what you learn.

Peace, love and granola

Now Playing: Suckers- It Gets Your Body Movin'

My computer has my fingers but you have my arm

My summer has never really been my holiday, winter is the time where I lay around and pretend to read useless textbooks while sipping tomato juice and touching myself. Clearly it's not winter right now and clearly Dizzee Rascal doesn't follow my seasonal lifestyle. This bangs in a hot way. Speaking of hot, I recently witnessed some great video footage that inspired me to make a horrible song. I will apologize in advance and hope to create something tasteful soon.

Here it is:

Boy G-Nus- Wanna Watch

Joooon

June is the part of summer where anything can happen, any idea can be conceived and no plan seems too far-fetched. I recently got pulled over eating a Subway sandwich while wearing only underwear. I got pulled over because that was All I had on, nothing else not even a seat belt was going to be covering my pale white epidermis on such a glorious June afternoon.....except a small amount of ranch sauce located northwest of my belly-button. $167 later I had no choice but to find the tastiest musical hooks in my car and play them as loud as I could.

Not all of these were released this month...or year for that matter but they are my top 5 records for this commencing month of summer and I hope you can get off to them as much as I did.

And if your a girl and reading this, go for a drive in your underwear.

...Or a run

Cheers

5. Dinosaur Jr.- I Don't Wanna Go There

I do wanna go there... right now actually, because my heart is so warm from these chords my face is melting. Oh wait that's the solo. Fuckin Awesome

4. Animal Collective- Leaf House

I love my friends but the bond these guys share sounds pretty rad, almost profound. They sing WHATEVER they feel in any way they feel and have an amazing gift of harmonizing these instinctive, primal noises.

"Hey do you guys wanna make some random noises at halftime and see if we can make a melody?" "You betcha!"

3. Drake (feat. Lykke Li) - Little Bit

It's hard to make a bad remix of this song to begin with. Drake does a great job making it feel like he recorded this over the phone with Lykke, or maybe in sequenced recordings on her answering machine. Get lost in it.

2. Major Lazer (Feat. Nina Sky and Ricky Blaze)- Keep it Goin' Louder

I heard this on approximately June 25th so it barely counts, but this thing is absolute magic. If I had never partied before hearing this, I would probably be let down by partying. Haha, thats probably a lie but it is possible this song gives the word party more credit than it deserves...and it deserves a lot.

1. Sunset Robdown - Dragon's Lair

I'm biased here because I recently saw these guys and Spencer Krug admitted this was his favorite song from the record, it was in my top 2. These lyrics are in a league of their own. The first half of the song reads like the most vivid fantasy novel you read in grade 5 while the second half has more sing-along-ability than my mennonite neighbors grade 5 church choir. You're such a champion.......